


What It Seems

by sneakronicity



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Read at Own Risk, mention of past event, possible trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:22:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2408339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneakronicity/pseuds/sneakronicity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tensions run high when an old flame enters the picture, but things aren't always what they seem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What It Seems

**Author's Note:**

> So I got an anonymous prompt over a year and a half ago for a fic that included Bobbi and some jealous Natasha. I don't normally take prompts, but so many Clintasha fics treat Bobbi so horribly that I decided to run with this and make one that treats her with respect. I wrote the majority right away but then didn't finish it until now. The possible trigger warning is for mentions of something that happened in the past, but nothing is elaborated on. Also, major thanks to my darling @shenshen77 for the beta!

Clint was late, and while this might not seem strange about most people, if Clint Barton was anything he was certainly punctual.Too many missions were time sensitive, too many relied heavily on each step being timed perfectly, and he had taken all of this very much to heart early on in his career. Of course it hadn’t hurt that much of his job required simply waiting and watching, so he knew what it was like to wait for hours on end, so why make anyone wait for him?

So yes, Clint was late, and since this _was_ an unusual occurrence Natasha only gave him ten minutes during which she trained on her own before leaving to seek him out.She was surprised to find him not held up by work but seemingly just enjoying conversation in the mess with a pretty blonde that Natasha didn’t recognize.  

“Agent Barton,” she greeted as she approached the table.

“Oh, Natasha, hey!” Clint replied, smiling brightly at her.“I was wondering what you were up to today.”

“I was wondering the same about you,” she replied, brushing her ponytail back over her shoulder and fixing him with a pointed look.As he finally took in her workout gear, she could see realization dawn on him.

“Oh man, training, right,” he said, rubbing his forehead.“Sorry, I completely forgot.Something came up.”

“I can see that,” she responded dryly, her eyes moving from Clint to his companion and then back, waiting for him to make the introductions, which he completely failed to do.Noting this failure the blonde rolled her eyes and stood up, offering her hand to Natasha.

“I guess his manners haven’t improved much,” she said with a friendly smile.“Agent Bobbi Morse, West Coast division.”

There was a moment of hesitation, of surprise, before Natasha took the proffered hand, and it was time enough for Clint to pull himself together.“This is Natasha Romanoff, my partner,” he finally stepped up.“Nat, this is… well, I guess we already covered that part.”

“Oh, so _this_ is the infamous Black Widow!” Bobbi said, looking almost excited.  

“And I believe they call you Mockingbird,” Natasha replied.

“So you’ve heard of me too…” There was trepidation in Bobbi’s tone when she said this and she cast a quick look at Clint which he missed completely.

“Bobbi is going to be here for a few months to observe the facility, the training programs and to kinda do some share and share alike thing between the coasts, make sure we’re both on the same page with technology and record keeping and stuff,” Clint explained, doing well to appear oblivious to the tension in the room.In fact they were all doing well ignoring it.

“Well I’m sure Clint will be a great help, and I won’t hold you up any longer.I’m sure I will see you at the briefing tomorrow,” Natasha said, turning to leave.

“Agent Romanoff!” Bobbi called after her causing her to stop.“We’re going out to dinner in a few hours, you’re welcome to join us if you’re not busy.”

Natasha gave the perfect facsimile of a smile, something she had perfected so many years ago.“Thank you, but I’ll decline.I’m sure you both have a lot of catching up to do.”

She didn’t wait for further argument before striding out of the room.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“Oh man, I can’t believe Dominic is still pulling the same tricks,” Clint laughed loudly as they walked through the passageways of S.H.I.E.L.D.Headquarters. He and Bobbi were just arriving back from the restaurant where they had just spent the past three hours.Between the food, the drinks and the catching up neither of them had even realised how much time had passed until they finally noticed that the table beside them had seen one couple leave and two more come and go while they had been sitting there.

“Twelve years is a long time, but some things never change,” Bobbi replied, her cheeks rosy from laughter and wine.They reached the room she had been given for the duration of her stay and it took her a moment to remember the keypad combination.

“You haven’t,” Clint replied, leaning casually against the wall while she unlocked her door.“No, wait, not true.I think you may be even more awesome now.”

Pushing the door in, Bobbi turned her head to study Clint a moment.The years had really used him well; he had been handsome at twenty three, but she was certain he’d only gotten more attractive over the years.Biting her lip, her eyes moved down to his mouth and she didn’t think about it, didn’t _let_ herself think about it because if she did she would have probably talked herself out of it.Instead she just let instinct take over.Grabbing the back of his neck she pulled him into a sudden kiss.

For a moment Clint was too shocked to respond but he recovered quickly and returned the kiss, his hands moving to her waist to pull her closer.She was more solid now than he remembered, and all he could taste was wine, and for a moment he let it all go to his head, let the years wash away until they were back in California twelve years ago.

She pulled him into the room with her, his one arm flailing out behind him to shut the door, but as he stumbled in with her the kiss was broken and the spell with it. 

“Bobbi,” he said before she kissed him again.This time he pulled away, though it did take no small amount of willpower.“Bobbi, we shouldn’t do this.”

She was breathing heavily, her face was flushed, but he could see the wild desire fading into something much softer, something reflective, and he felt his stomach sink.“Clint, that was so many years ago now.I’ve dealt with it, I’m okay,” she said, cupping his face in her hands.“That doesn’t have to-“

“It’s not that,” he cut in quickly, though he couldn’t ignore the twinge in his heart that her words caused.Throughout the evening they had talked over many memories, but there were some they had left in the past.“It’s just that I… I can’t. I’m…”

Suddenly Bobbi was pulling away from him, one hand over her mouth and looking three shades of embarrassed.“Oh God, I’m sorry.It was stupid of me to just assume… of course you’ve found someone else, and here I am just throwing myself at you.”

“Hey, no, it’s fine.We’re… I mean, it’s… it’s complicated,” he said lamely, running a hand back through his hair awkwardly.

“Complicated?” she repeated, lowering her hands back to her sides, her brow furrowing before realization seemed to dawn.“It’s Agent Romanoff, isn’t it?”

“What?” Clint sputtered in surprise.“No!It’s… I mean, why would you think that?”He had thought they’d been fooling everyone, but if Bobbi could tell there was something going on with them after only seeing them together for five minutes then how many other people knew?

Smiling to herself she shook her head.“I thought maybe she was just cold toward me because you stood her up, but she was clearly jealous.”The shocked look that comment received gave her a good laugh.

“It’s not like that,” Clint tried to explain.“She’s just not always very social. Besides, she doesn’t get jealous.We’re not… it’s just sort of a casual thing.Why would she be jealous?”It wasn’t like she had ever even hinted at wanting to try the whole exclusive thing.Clint had stopped seeing other women a year or so after the shift in their partnership, when he realized that nobody else could even compare, but he never told Natasha this, of course, because he didn’t want to see pity in her eyes when she told him it wasn’t the same for her.

Hearing him stumble all over his words, watching him practically floundering about, Bobbi knew that any chance she and Clint had had was long past. He was a goner, and while it was a bit sad as the final end of something always was, she felt no jealousy.“All these years and you’re still completely clueless when it comes to women,” she said with a chuckle.He looked so lost and confused at her statement, not to mention a little insulted, but clearly having no idea how to rebut.Placing her hand on his shoulder she gave him one last kiss, this one completely chaste and only lingering a moment.“Good night, Clint.”

Nodding a bit numbly he backed toward the door.“Bobbi?”

“Don’t worry.This never happened,” she offered, wrapping her arms around herself.

“No, it did.And I’m glad it did,” Clint replied.Understanding passed between them, understanding that this was the closure they had needed, that they could still work together, could even be friends, without it being too awkward.“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

He hadn’t been able to get Bobbi’s words out of his head and for the next few days Clint kept a close watch on Natasha whenever they were in the same room together.At first he was willing to concede some jealousy, but it was more because he was _her_ partner, yet here he was spending so much time working with someone else while she got sidelined.It wasn’t until he saw her and Bobbi alone together that he started to think maybe there was more to it than that.Natasha was friendly enough, much more so than during that first meeting, but Clint had gotten to know her tells over the years, he knew her better than anyone, and he knew when she was putting on one of her masks.That wasn’t Natasha talking to Bobbi but one of her many personas instead.

Four days after that first awkward meeting he got her alone in one of the smaller training rooms.

“I stand you up once and I don’t even get an invite anymore, you just train without me?” he said, grinning at Natasha, but it wasn’t going to be that easy.Those few days he had spent watching her, she had spent stewing.S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters was small, and a teeming pool of gossip, and word had travelled fast that he and Bobbi had gotten hot and heavy in the hallway before disappearing into Bobbi’s room.

Honestly, Natasha hadn’t been surprised to hear the story, but what _had_ surprised her was how hearing about it had made her feel.It wasn’t jealousy, as one might expect, but hurt and regret.How could she be jealous when Clint had never really been hers?Their relationship had been casual, they had never discussed being exclusive, so what right did she have to be upset with him?None, of course, but she had every reason to be upset with herself.

She should have known.She should have figured out long ago that things could never be just ‘casual’ with them.Casual was for someone she passed in the hallway or had lunch with from time to time, not for the person who knew her better than anyone else, the one person who she truly trusted.It was that trust that had made it easy to take that step toward a physical relationship.She already trusted him with her secrets, her past, trusted him to have her back.

What she hadn’t realized was that, without even knowing it, she had also trusted him with her heart.

It was that trust that it seemed she had wrongly given, but how could she blame him for breaking something he didn’t even know he had?

“Since when did you need an invitation,” Natasha shot back, suddenly rounding on him with a punch he just barely managed to avoid.“Besides, I assumed you were busy.”

“You know what they say about people who assume things,” Clint replied lightly, but when she narrowed her eyes at him he decided to quickly continue.“Actually, I didn’t come here to train.”

“Then I think you’re in the wrong room,” she replied, turning back to pummeling the bag without further comment.

Clint sighed and steeled himself, pushing on.“Nat, can we just talk for a minute?There’s something I want to tell you.”

Her shoulders tensed but she abandoned her training and turned to face him. “Clint, you don’t have to explain anything.There aren’t a lot of second chances in life, so when one does come around you take it.”She tried to smile understandingly, but her eyes remained unreadable.

“Just let me talk, alright?” Clint replied, shaking his head.“Can we just sit down for a minute?Please?”

It was the please that got her.She could see how much this meant to him, how much he needed to do this and as much as she didn’t want to hear it she couldn’t refuse.Above all else Clint was her best friend, and right now he needed her to be the same.  

Crossing the room to the bench that lined one wall, she took a long drink of water from her bottle before lowering herself to sit.Clint wasted no time in taking the seat beside her, but he didn’t speak right away, instead taking a moment to try to gather his thoughts.  

“I met Bobbi when I did a six month tenure at the West Coast facility.I was young and apparently clueless and for those first few weeks she did everything but throw herself at me and I didn’t even notice.”He chuckled a little and Natasha smiled but again it was nothing but a veneer.She knew this story... okay, so he had never given her the details before, but she knew the basics and that was enough.Why did he feel the need to tell her this?Either he was just as clueless now or she had done too good of a job being his friend and he just wanted to share his happiness with her.Or both.

“After that things got real serious real fast,” Clint continued.“I don’t even remember how that happened.It only really hit home when she got pregnant.”

Pregnant.The word seemed to suck all of the air from the room.Bobbi had gotten pregnant, pregnant with Clint’s child.Clint was a father, he had a child and he had never told Natasha.He and Bobbi were parents and they shared a child.He had a child with another woman.No matter how many different ways she played the words over in her head, they still _hurt._ It wasn’t supposed to hurt, not like this.She should feel angry he hadn’t told her, that he had kept something so important from her, but it really just hurt instead.Natasha didn’t know if she even wanted to be a mother, it was something she never let herself think about because she _couldn’t._ She could never bear a child, the Red Room had seen to that, so it was just one of those truths she had accepted and moved past.Bobbi didn’t have that problem; she had given him one child and could give him more.

But no, something wasn’t quite right.Clint had never even mentioned a child before.He never spoke of one, he had no pictures of any, he never went off on secret vacations without her.Once Natasha was able to see past her own heartbreak she began to realise that his story was not what she had been imagining.Looking over at Clint she could tell he was lost in the past now.This wasn’t about telling her the story anymore so much as it was just telling _someone,_ saying it aloud.A feeling of dread started to settle in her heart.

“We got so caught up in it all.We started talking names, and whether it would be a boy or a girl, and things we would do together.We talked about getting married, but not about our jobs, not really about the future.We were so excited, and man was that a hard secret to keep, but there was that whole superstition about the first three months...”

_Oh no._ Natasha could see where this was going, she knew what he was going to say next, but she hoped she was wrong.She prayed for him to say something else, anything else.

“Not so superstitious, I guess,” Clint continued with a strained, humourless chuckle, his voice thick. Silently Natasha reached over and took his hand and he squeezed it so tight in return that she felt her own chest tighten with emotion.“When she...” he paused to swallow hard. “When she lost the baby we went through it together but... we weren’t just dealing with that.We had to face the future, the things we had been avoiding.We were both so young, we enjoyed our jobs... were either of us willing to give that up?We could try again, but was that really what we wanted?And whether it was or wasn’t, just seeing each other every day... that reminder...”He took a deep, shaky breath and let it out slowly.“When my six months were up I came back east and she stayed there.We said we’d keep in contact but we both knew we wouldn’t.”

So that was how it really ended; that was the whole story.Natasha felt her heart break anew, but this time it wasn’t for herself but for the young couple who had lost something so precious and been left to face hard realities.

Holding his hand and leaning her shoulder against his, Natasha offered silent comfort and for a long time they sat just like that, both dealing with what Clint had said in their own way.For him it dredged up some deeply buried pain, but at the same time it felt good to have told her, to reveal that last secret piece of himself to the one person who knew everything else, the one person who he trusted completely.He held no more secrets from her now... except one.

“I kissed her,” Clint said suddenly, shattering the silence.He felt Natasha tense against him.“The other night, after dinner.I kissed her.”

Natasha took a breath and nodded.“I know,” she replied, and when he looked at her in surprise she couldn’t help but smile, even if there was a hint of bitterness in it.“You weren’t exactly discrete.”

To Clint’s merit he actually looked a bit sheepish.“I’m sorry.I should have told you sooner.”

“It’s fine,” Natasha replied.It wasn’t, but she had to pretend it was for his sake.“Clint, I meant what I said about second chances.”

He met her eyes then and he could see the sincerity in them, and the determination, but he searched deeper as only he could, finding the hurt and regret hidden where only he knew her well enough to find.

“I kissed her, and then I stopped because I realised it wasn’t her I wanted to be kissing.”

Natasha’s brow wrinkled in confusion.That certainly wasn’t the story she had heard, but why would Clint open up to her and tell her all of this, why would he admit to anything only to start lying now.

“Don’t look so surprised,” he chuckled.“Probably for the best anyway with how jealous you were and all...”

“What?” she exclaimed.“I was not jealous.”

“Sure you weren’t...” Clint replied, clearly not believing her and enjoying her attempt at denial.“Bobbi noticed it too, without even knowing about us.”

“I was not jealous,” she protested, getting to her feet, but Clint still had hold of her hand so she didn’t get far.

“Come on, Nat, admit it.The idea of me with anyone else drives you crazy.You just can’t stand it.”Apparently the tender moment had passed, and he always found it easier to deal with sadness by pushing it aside and joking around instead.

“Okay, yes, fine,” she finally spat out in frustration.“But it wasn’t jealousy.”She didn’t try to pull her hand from his grasp, but she took a step away and turned from him.He wisely decided to shut up and wait for her to continue.“I know this is supposed to be casual, but I haven’t been with anyone else for a very long time, and I know you probably have but I was okay with that; I told myself I was okay with it, as long as I didn’t have to hear about it or see it.”Taking a breath she lowered her head and turned completely away from him.“I wasn’t.”

There was a long moment where neither of them spoke or moved, and Natasha felt increasingly restless.She had just put herself out there and was left feeling more vulnerable than she had in years and she hated that feeling.Eventually, though, Clint squeezed her hand and spoke. “I haven’t.”

She looked back at him over her shoulder.“Haven’t what?” she asked.She had said a lot and wasn’t sure what train of thought he was on.

“I haven’t been with anyone else for a long time either.Not since you spent those four months in Belize.”He gave her hand a little tug and she took a step closer.“Even then it was only once and it wasn’t worth it.”Another tug, another step.“You’ve ruined me for all other women, you know.”

Natasha stared back at him, trying to comprehend the words.She knew how much of a shameless flirt Clint could be at times, and of course many stories developed from there, but what if that was all they were?Just stories?She had no reason not to believe Clint, especially when faced with a look of such sincerity.

“What Bobbi and I had was special, and she’ll always be important to me, but it’s in the past,” he clarified, his eyes fixed on Natasha.

She nodded slowly.What Clint and Bobbi had gone through together, the joy and the loss they shared, was not something easily forgotten; Natasha knew that better than most.Part of him would probably always love Bobbi, just like Alexi would always hold a place in Natasha’s heart, but the human heart was strong and resilient, and its capacity to love larger than many people believed.First loves did not need to be forgotten to make room for new loves.There was always space for another if people allowed them in.

“And your future?” Natasha ventured.

“I dunno,” Clint replied, his confidence suddenly waning.His expression turned uncertain as he searched her face for reassurance.“You tell me.”

After everything she had said he was still afraid she might reject him, and worried that he was too late.She felt her walls crumble and her lips turned up in a soft, fond smile.Moving to stand between his legs, she brushed her hands back through his hair, tilting his head back to look up at her.  

“I think I can help you figure that out,” she said, and the way he proceeded to beam at her made that last bit of resistance and fear melt away.

“I hoped you’d say that,” he responded, and that was all they said for a long while as he pulled her down on his lap and kissed her thoroughly.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“So the alarm is going off, and instead of taking a couple of extra seconds to throw on some pants, or even grab a towel, Clint bursts out of the bathroom, naked as the day he was born and still dripping wet, armed with only a brush and a bar of soap.”

Natasha burst out laughing at the image Bobbi painted, perfectly able to picture it in her mind.

“When he found out it was just a drill everyone expected him to be angry or embarrassed, but he just made some witty comment and went back inside to finish his shower.”

“Clearly they didn’t know him very well,” Natasha chuckled, knowing full well that it took much more than a little nudity to embarrass Clint Barton.

Her and Bobbi were seated at the same table where Bobbi had taken her lunch since that first day, and while they had found plenty of commonalities and had grown to enjoy each other’s company after the past week, sharing ridiculous stories about Clint was one of their favourite activities.Speaking of...

“Forget something?” Clint remarked as he approached the table dressed in workout clothes.Looking up at him and then at the clock Natasha gave him an apologetic look that wasn’t entirely genuine.

“Sorry, I got distracted,” she replied, finishing her tea and standing from the table.

The look of amusement the women were sharing had Clint suspicious and he eyed Bobbi warily.“Good distracted, I hope.”

“Oh, yes. Very good,” Bobbi replied with a wicked grin that did nothing to set him at ease.

“I don’t know,” Natasha chimed in.“I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that the entire West Coast division has seen you naked.We may need to rethink our arrangement.”

She managed to say this with a straight face but Bobbi couldn’t help the loud peal of laughter, especially when Clint’s eyes widened and he looked at her accusingly.

“Hey, not my fault!” she protested.“You know how persuasive she can be!”

It was now Natasha’s turn to look innocent and Clint just shook his head.“Fine, you ladies enjoy talking about my hot bod.I’m gonna go get a shower.I’ll leave you with that image.”

“Don’t need it.”

“Already seen it.”

As he walked away he heard a few more words that were almost too quiet to make out.

“I wonder how hard it would be to stage an evac drill in five minutes...”

“I heard that!” he called back over his shoulder.His only answer was more laughter.

 


End file.
